Hope vs. Disappointment
Why do so many people act like having hope is the dumb thing to do? Like somehow it is smarter to expect disappointment than it is to believe you might get what you want.
I really want all of us to start questioning that because somewhere along the way a lot of us got taught that getting our hopes up is dangerous as fuck. Like if you let yourself believe something could work out for you and then it doesn’t, now you look stupid and you have to deal with the letdown, so it feels safer to just expect less from the beginning. but so many people will call that being realistic or protecting their peace, but it is literally just fear. It is fear of being disappointed again. It is fear of wanting something and not getting it.
But what kind of life do you create when you keep doing that to yourself? Really let's talk about that.. If every time you want something, your first instinct is to shut your own hope down, lower your expectations, and prepare for the worst, then of course life starts to feel mundane. Of course everything starts to feel heavy and repetitive and underwhelming. You are walking into your own life already bracing for impact. You are not detached like you think.. You are identifying yourself with disappointment. That is a completely different thing..
Hope is not the problem. Thinking one thing not working out means nothing ever works out for you is the problem. But hope by itself? Hope is healthy and open. Hope is what allows your mind, body, energy, and honestly your whole life to stay open for something better. when you have no hope, you are not protecting yourself, you are just closing yourself off before life even gets a chance to meet you in a new way.
I know what a lot of us think. Like okay, but if I have hope and it still doesn’t happen, then what was the point? The point is that living in constant expectation of disappointment or the mundane does not save you the pain anyway. It just makes you suffer before anything has even happened. It steals your excitement and creativity, your ability to actually feel alive. You are basically pre rejecting yourself so life does not have the chance to do it first.
There is a huge difference between having hope and being desperate. There is a huge difference between believing something good can happen and forcing one specific outcome. You are allowed to have hope and still be detached. You are allowed to say, yeah, I really want this, I really believe something beautiful could happen here, and if this exact thing does not work out, that still does not mean life is against me. That still does not mean I need to go back to seeing the world through disappointment. That is real power i want everybody to sit in.. i dont want you training yourself to live in survival mode just so you can avoid feeling let down.
expecting the worst does not make you wiser. It just makes you harder to surprise. And that might feel safe, but it is not the same thing as being free. Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is let yourself want more without making yourself wrong for it. Because the truth is, people who have convinced themselves that hope is dangerous usually are not protecting their peace. They are protecting an identity built around disappointment.
And if that is you, maybe this is the moment you stop calling that realism and start calling it what it is. Maybe this is the moment you stop acting like expecting less makes you smarter. Maybe this is the moment you let yourself believe that life can actually meet you in a better way. Because it can. And if you are tired of living from that disappointed version of yourself, that is exactly the kind of work I help people move through.
You do not need less hope, babe.. You need a new relationship with it!!
