Letting Go: The Secret to Finding Real Control

Letting Go: The Secret to Finding Real Control

Hey, my beautiful souls. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of control.. how we cling to it, how we chase it, and how we’re convinced that if we just tighten our grip, everything will fall into place. For the longest time, I believed that if I could just control the external world, I’d be happy, successful, validated, you name it. Then, somewhere along the line, I realized that I can’t actually control anything outside of myself. And ironically, the moment I embraced that truth was the moment I found my real power.

Let me start with a little background on why I’m so passionate about this whole concept. Growing up, I didn’t have much.. at least not in the way the “ego world” might measure success. I’m talking about material things, options, or even the kind of environment where you feel safe and supported. I had a lot of alone time. But in all that solitude, I discovered something priceless: the ability to talk to myself in the mirror. It sounds silly, but that mirror work was everything. It was like I was having these endless conversations with my soul, reminding myself of who I really was, even when the outside world offered me nothing. Of course, that also meant my social skills were a little shaky when I stepped out into the big, scary world. I developed a pretty intense stage fright.. seriously, standing in front of anyone to speak made my heart feel like it would leap out of my chest. Yet, there was this part of me that was determined not to let that fear stop me from speaking my truth. So, even though stage fright was one of my biggest fears ever, I found ways to move through it. Because if I let that stop me, I wouldn’t be here now.. talking to you, coaching my clients, connecting with souls who need that nudge, that spark, that reminder of their own power.

It’s crazy to think I’ve come so far in just a few years. I’ve been able to help myself and so many others find clarity in their lives, manifest the finances they want, land the jobs they want, and really step into who they’re meant to be. I was even the first in my family to go to college, and I got my first running car.. maybe that doesn’t sound like a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but to me, coming from where I started, it was huge. It signified that yes, I can have the life I envision. That, to me, is the power of letting go of external control and focusing on the inner game. I’ve said this before in a past blog, and it bears repeating: we have around 42,000 thoughts a day, and we can use every single one to our advantage. It’s not about controlling each thought.. like, oh my God, I had a negative thought, that’s it, I’m doomed. It’s more about noticing where we’re pouring our attention, because whatever we focus on expands. That’s actually backed up by neuroscience and the idea of neuroplasticity. Our brains literally reshape themselves based on what we keep thinking, feeling, and believing. If we keep obsessing over how we don’t have control, or how life never works out, we’re wiring our brain to seek more proof of that. On the flip side, when we start focusing on possibility.. on the fact that we’re infinite beings capable of more than we give ourselves credit for.. our brain starts building new neural pathways to support that belief.

And this is where quantum physics slides into the conversation. In the quantum realm, particles behave based on observation. Reality literally shifts depending on the conscious (or subconscious) observer. In simpler terms, energy responds to your focus. If I keep telling myself, “I always get stuck,” or “I’ll never succeed,” I’m basically instructing the universe (and my own subconscious) to find ways to confirm that. But if I flip that narrative and remind myself, “I am an infinite being, I am capable, I am choosing growth, I am safe to surrender,” then the quantum field around me aligns to reflect that new reality.

That’s not to say everything becomes sunshine and rainbows overnight. It’s more like understanding that we can let go of micromanaging every external circumstance and instead direct our energy inward, where the real power lies. That, to me, is the essence of surrender. People often think surrender means giving up. But I see surrender as acceptance. It’s acknowledging that we can’t force life to bend to our will through sheer panic or desperation. True control, ironically, shows up when we stop trying to control everything and instead direct our focus to how we feel, how we respond, and how we choose to perceive whatever’s happening.

Over the last couple years years, I’ve done a lot of inner work. I’ve realized that when I let go of ego.. which is basically that small, fearful part of me that thinks I have to force outcomes.. I can step into a sense of flow. That’s when I understood that I really can have whatever I want, and it’s not because I’m inherently more special than anyone else. None of us are. We’re all infinite. It’s just that we forget. Sometimes we get so caught up in controlling the outcome, the timeline, the relationship, or the job, that we miss the magical dance between our inner state and the external world.

In my coaching sessions and tarot readings, I see this pattern all the time. People come to me feeling stuck in relationships or jobs that drain them. They’re terrified to let go because they think letting go equals losing. But if you’re hanging onto something with all your might, and it’s slipping away anyway, maybe it’s not a loss.. maybe it’s the universe (which is really just another facet of you) deciding it’s time for a better fit. I always remind my clients of the Fool card: that leap of faith you take when you trust the journey more than you trust your fears. If you truly want a relationship that aligns with love and respect, sometimes you have to release the one that isn’t giving you either of those things. If you want a fulfilling career, sometimes you have to say no to the soul-sucking job that’s draining your energy. If you want to feel free, you have to be willing to step away from people or environments that want to keep you small.

I see so many heartbreaks or disappointments where, at first glance, it looks like the worst thing that could possibly happen. Then, after the dust settles, it becomes clear it was a gift in disguise. We tell the universe (which is ultimately our higher self) that we want love, abundance, respect, purpose, and freedom.. then the universe orchestrates these seemingly chaotic experiences that actually lead us there. It’s just that, from our limited viewpoint, it feels like we’ve been betrayed when things fall apart. But if you keep reminding yourself, “Hey, maybe this is happening for me, not to me,” you start recognizing how that shift in perspective changes everything.

It’s all connected to the thoughts we think and the frequency we embody. The more we understand about the brain and neuroplasticity, the more we see how plastic or changeable our minds truly are. We can literally think new thoughts, form new beliefs, and create a new sense of identity that draws in new experiences. It’s not magic in a “wave a wand and everything changes instantly” sense.. it’s magic in a scientific, quantum sense. The observer effect is real. Our beliefs, our emotions, our energy.. it all impacts the world we experience.

So, yes, I love talking about quantum physics, neuroscience, and how we can rewire our brains to live more fully. But I also want to keep it real. It’s not just about the mind.. it’s about the soul. It’s about remembering we’re infinite spiritual beings having a human experience. When we only see ourselves as these small egos struggling to make it, we forget how powerful we truly are. When we let go of seeing ourselves strictly as these bodies, these personalities, these lists of accomplishments or failures, we open up to the idea that we’re actually limitless. That’s what I’ve discovered in my own journey, and it’s why I’m so passionate about sharing it with you. Along the way, I created my 7-Day Mindset Course, and it’s been my pride and joy. It’s basically me downloading everything I’ve learned about shifting from that egoic, fear-based mindset to one that embraces expansion and possibility. I still use those principles daily or weekly, depending on what my soul needs. It’s like a toolkit that helps me stay aligned whenever I catch myself slipping into old patterns of fear or embarrassment. Because let’s be real: I’m human, too. I still get triggered. I still have fears. But I’ve learned how to dance with them instead of letting them lead. And that’s what I want to help others do as well.

Speaking of helping others, I’m now adding spiritual life coaching to my services. I’m super excited about this because, while tarot and readings will always have a special place in my heart, I know there’s so much more I can offer in a one-on-one, soul-to-soul coaching dynamic. In the future, I’ll keep expanding my services.. there’s always room for growth.. but for now, I’m thrilled to bring this new dimension into my work. It feels like a natural progression: blending my love for quantum physics, the mind, intuitive guidance, and the spiritual realm all into one holistic approach.

I’m also a huge believer in living what you preach. That’s why, even when I’m terrified, I move forward anyway. If I’d let stage fright stand in my way, I would have never stepped into the role of teacher, guide, or mentor for anyone else. And ironically, showing up for others has helped me heal parts of myself I didn’t even know were wounded. Every time I encourage someone else to take that leap of faith.. like the Fool stepping off the cliff.. I’m reminded to do the same in my own life. Every time I tell someone they have the power to shift their mindset, I’m reminded to keep shifting mine. Every time I see someone break through a lifetime of limiting beliefs, I’m reminded that we truly are infinite beings, and that’s not just some esoteric cliché.. it’s the real deal.

Surrendering isn’t a one-time thing. It’s like a muscle you build, one day at a time, one choice at a time. You let go of the job that suffocates you. You let go of the toxic relationship, even if you’re scared to be alone. You let go of the household or family dynamic that makes you feel like you’ll never be enough. You let go of obsessing over the person who voted differently from you or the person threatening to take away your rights. Not because you don’t care, but because you realize real control means centering your energy in yourself. It means recognizing that no matter what’s happening on the outside, you decide how you experience your life. That’s power. That’s freedom. That’s alignment.

I like to say that’s also just good old quantum physics in action: you shift your energy, and the external world has to respond. Remember, you’re the observer. The more you remind yourself that you can direct your thoughts, the more you rewire your brain to look for solutions instead of limitations. And once you start doing that, everything shifts. It might not happen exactly when or how you expect.. usually it doesn’t.. but it does happen in ways that can blow your mind when you’re open to possibility.

Honestly, I’m living proof of that. If you had told me years ago that I’d be here now, writing this, connecting with people all over the world, offering spiritual life coaching, tarot readings, mindset courses, and more.. I would’ve rolled my eyes in disbelief. But each small step, each quiet moment of talking to myself in the mirror, each leap of faith, each heartbreak, and each victory led me here. And I know there’s more to come.. more expansions, more shifts, more services I’ll offer in the future. Because that’s life: we keep evolving as long as we’re willing to embrace change.

So if you’re wondering what it really means to let go of control, here’s the simplest way I can put it: stop trying to force everything outside of you and start focusing on the only thing you can control.. your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions. Take a moment to notice the 42,000 thoughts (or more!) racing through your head each day, and ask yourself: which of these thoughts do I want to believe in and nurture? Which ones deserve my attention, and which ones are just old tapes playing on a loop? Then, gently shift. Over and over, until it becomes second nature. It might feel awkward at first, but stick with it.

And when life inevitably throws you a curveball.. a breakup, a job loss, a disappointment.. try asking, “How might this be happening for me, instead of to me?” Even if you can’t see it yet, entertain the possibility. Because from my experience, whenever something crumbles, it’s usually making space for something better.. even if that something better is just a new level of self-love, self-respect, or spiritual understanding.

I always say, IT’S SO FUNNNN here.. lol you should come. And I mean that from the depths of my soul. There’s a joy in releasing the struggle, in surrendering to the flow, and in realizing that being in alignment with yourself is the greatest power you can have. Because once you’re aligned, you’re free. You can finally recognize that you’ve been infinite all along.

If you’d like to dive deeper into this journey with me, I definitely suggest checking out my 7-Day Mindset Course.. my pride and joy, for real. I poured my heart into it, and it encapsulates so much of what I’ve been talking about here, from rewiring your thoughts to embracing your infinite nature. And if you’d like a more personal touch, you can absolutely book a reading or a spiritual life coaching session with me. I can’t wait to keep connecting with all of you, to keep teaching, and most importantly, to keep learning. Thank you for sharing this space with me, for letting me share my heart, and for being open to seeing how the concept of “letting go of control” can transform your life. Remember, this isn’t just about me talking or you reading.. it’s about us realizing that we’re all in this cosmic dance together. And once we surrender, everything we’ve ever wanted has a funny way of finding its way to us. Because that’s who we are: infinite beings, ever evolving, ever expanding, and always in control of our own inner universe.

With So Much Love & Healing Energy,
Michelle M. Malter

MysticMMoon.com